Oh, Be Brave!

Lately, I’ve had some really good stuff coming my way career-wise.  I was given opportunities to pioneer new thrusts in my department.  However, as Spiderman said:  With great power, comes great responsibility.”

True.  And greater pressure, politics and intrigues too!  My, oh, my!  Something that I do not want to get involved with.  My common dialogue:  Oh, I really just want to work, do my best, reap well from it. 

Well…

With all this office turmoil, and at the risk of sounding like a whiner when speaking up, I had to dig deep inside me, trust in my inner strength that all things will work together for everybody’s good.  Not just for my own good, I dare say, but for everyone’s good.

This song, “Brave” by Sara Bareilles has given me back inspiration and a touch of my old sense of humour.

To be brave in standing up to what I believe in, even when others do not seem to agree.  To be brave in being grounded in the age-old truths that my parents taught me.  To be brave in being teachable and flexible as this is the path to greater improvement and success.  To be brave to see events on both sides – not just my own.  To be brave to draw out love from my heart and feel love for everyone, regardless.  To be brave to extend kindness even when kindness was the last thing I got.  To be brave to go on in life with graciousness. 

Each one of us has our own daily battles.  But the key here is to go on, not give up.  We might need to choose our fights wisely – extending kindness or forgiveness does not mean quitting or losing the battle.  It just means you are making a different tactic.  It means being the bigger person.

Do I know exactly what lies ahead of me, in this messy and fearsome corporate world?  No.  But I am here to go on and not give up.  And with my inner self adds: “So help me God.”  With lol right after. 

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. – Nelson Mandela

P.S.  There are so many angles to being brave, and I will be exploring it in my next write ups.  

Oh, My Baby, Baby, Baby!

If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it.  I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean, in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle. - Vincent van Gogh - 1853 - 1890.

Ever wondered why whenever you gaze at the newborn's face, an unexplainable feeling of utter peace and bliss envelops you? 

Attending a baby shower party usually gives me excitement, as if I was the expectant mother!  I can remember being excited to give birth to my babies - to see their faces, to touch their tiny hands, to hear their cries.

Ever been in a room full of adults busy doing their thing?  And then comes along a baby.  The room's atmosphere suddenly changes.  There is that strong energy that a baby emits.  Everyone becomes enthralled.

If a baby is in the room, it's almost as if there is a magnetic connection that draws my attention and I must make contact.  Being the father of eight children, I have spent countless hours simply gazing into the eyes of a brand-new arrival into our family.  In these private moments, I often send silent inquisitive messages asking them to tell me about God and what the formless spiritual world is like.  I have passed many, many hours of my life lying on the floor making direct contact with our new arrivals.  I've long fascinated by the fact that children must show up here with personality traits.  I love to ask little toddlers who are only beginning to communicate with language to tell me what they remember.  - Wayne Dyer

The newborn, still untouched by the world's fear and anxiety - has that pure positive energy straight from where the baby came from (and I'm not talking about the physical).  So undiluted by the world's negativity, that is almost as if you feel the breathe of heaven!

Oh, I Met a Guardian Angel!

Angels…  I’ve never really paid attention to the subject until now.

I believe I am a well grounded person with an age-old faith and a practical mind.  However, I think I have met one too many angels in my life – right when I needed one.

I do not mean creatures with wings and heavenly faces, but  beings just the same, who have brought good tidings to my life. Human beings from all walks of life, with different backgrounds, with different beliefs.

Today, I believe I have met one.  The amazing circumstance and coincidence that brought us to meet and share a glimpse of our lives amazed me.

To you, my dear, I say, thank you for making me recognise something in my life.  A wake up call.  A confirmation.

To people who were instruments to get me back to my feet whenever I fell face down, thank you.  You were heaven-sent.  When my parents died, there were one too many people who helped me survive.  One was my best friend who now reside in New Zealand.  Close friends, whom I now consider as family, have helped my family when my husband’s life was endangered and my family’s security was compromised.

When my family migrated to Canada, numerous people helped to get us settled.  They were heaven-sent.  I call them kindred spirits, who welcomed us in their lives despite not fully knowing who we were…  So many people who extended helping hands to my children.

When my daughter, at a very young age had a life-threatening surgery and had to lose one of her organs, Sarah and May and their families – were heaven-sent.

People like Christine, who at the perfect moment of my almost meltdown, called me and just insisted her way to my life and my family’s.

Kind people who gave me a break in my career.  I call them angels.  There is this particular person in my workplace – but I believe she wants to remain anonymous.  Well, Miss A, you were an angel.

Today, I actually met one.  Thank you, my dear, for being instrumental to my making decisive steps in one aspect of my life.  You don’t actually know it, but you were the healing oil to a wound that I have been carrying.  Hence, my first steps to healing.

I thought that wound  was already a battle scar – until it occurred to me that the surface has healed but it was still fresh inside.  So,my need for healing.

Thank you, my dear angel, for reassuring that I am not alone in this situation and that God is a God of second chances.  The imperfections that we call, are actually what makes us perfectly magnificent. 

Oh, How Do I See it?

In so many circumstances, I am always challenged to decide to see things differently.  

Perception is what it is.  Every person is wired differently.  Different folks, different strokes, is what they say.  The differences in perception can come from culture, background and upbringing.  Sometimes, I believe, it is plainly just the personality.  One’s uniqueness.

Differences in opinion boil down to differences in perception.  Through the years, I have learned to do my best to look at the bright side of things.  It is from knowing that “all things work together for good” as the Scripture says, that kept me anchored despite the storms in life.

When my Dad passed away 10 weeks after Mama died, I felt as if the weight of the whole world  crashed down on me.

I come from a very close-knit family -  with very close ties from the grandparents down to the grandchildren.  Being the eldest in the family and a wife and a mother of two, I faced all the responsibilities that came with it; aside from the turmoil that I faced with my own family which had security and protection issues.  It took me months to recover from shock and grief. But I had to go on living and see “the light ahead of the tunnel”.

Under the circumstances, I chose to trust the One who was in control of everything.  “He’s got the whole world in His hands”, and therefore “I am safe”.  Some call it The Source, The Energy, etc.  I call Him God.

With the current downturn of the economy in our province, it is heartbreaking to know people have been let go from their jobs – their means of livelihood.  In my own community, I have seen too many houses for sale because the owners are unable to pay their mortgages because they lost their jobs.

I know too many friends who had to get survival jobs to survive as they were let go from their jobs as professionals.  But here’s the thing:  Thank God for survival jobs!  Thank you for EI!  Thank you for the Food Bank!

For several weeks, I felt so frustrated and angry at work.  I felt I was unfairly treated.  I was plain unhappy.  But it dawned on me, hey, I still have a job.  And it’s a good one, actually.  With the present economy, I am in a such a very good position.

With that perspective, I realized that that work incident which made me miserable, was a call for me to step up - to prove to everybody that I’ve got more to show, more to give.  I have become a comfortable, sleeping giant.  It’s time to wake the giant up!

I had to decide to see that there is a morale to my work situation and aspects for me to improve on.  I cannot go into details, but yes, my career has made a good turn and things look promising.  I am happier.  Everything is working out for my own good.  I am not saying that things are going my way – but it is certainly going the way it should, for my own good.  I see it unfolding.

When my family migrated to Canada, we had to start from scratch – literally.  Thank goodness for people with kindred spirits who helped us along the way.  It was a major adjustment on all sides – from the climate to people and culture.  I had to start with a survival job!  But it was in that survival job that I met wonderful people and learned priceless lessons.

Is everything bright and rosy?  Nah.  Manna falling down from heaven literally?  Nah.  But is everything working out for my good and my family’s good?  Yeah!  I choose to see it that way.  So does my family.  And we move on to living a full life. 

Moving on to the journey! 

“The meaning of everything is the meaning I give it.” – Neale Donald Walsch

The Train Driver and His Soup

When you are down and out and you feel like you just got a triple whammy, you know you’ve hit rock bottom, as most people would say.  The best thing to do is sit back, be still, surrender to the moment, and know that if you’ve hit the deepest gut, there is nowhere else to go but up.

Feeling  exactly like all of the above, I begin to be still. 

As one of my favourite authors said:  there is no such thing as an accident in life.

The life I have now and all the circumstances I am in is not an accident.  I am here in this situation for a purpose and for learning.

This in mind, I begin to gravitate on being grateful for being alive.  From this baby step, I begin to see my world from a greyish point of view to a color-filled one.  I begin to be grateful for family and loved ones, a home, meals on the table, clothes on my back, and good health.

And I see glimpses.  Glimpses of peace - of stillness and dependency to the One Creator of all things. Glimpses of everyday life and ordinary people.

As I was on the train this cool and grey morning, something unusual happened.  The early winter wind was cold, and the morning was dark.  

Everyone looked grim on the train; up until when we reached the City Hall station.  The train driver cackled a cheery good morning thru the speakers.  His voice was a contrast to the grey day that loomed ahead.  

He continued to announce the weather forecast and said in one breath:  "By the way, I know my sister is in one the carts here coz I saw that red jacket I gave her last Christmas. Well, sister, tell Mom I’m gonna call her tonight and maybe even give her a visit and maybe dinner? So kindly please, can you buy my favourite soup from my favourite store on your way home tonight? And see you later, sis!”

You bet almost everyone inside the train chuckled.  I for one, shook my head and laughed. 

Joy and hope does not have to make a grand entrance in our lives for us to be happy.  Unexpected moments like this train driver and his soup can be priceless.

I saw that sad-looking lady wearing a burgundy toque smile timidly.  It was a slight lift of the corners of her mouth; or a lopsided smile; but a smile just the same.

For a split second, the heavy veil of gloominess lifted from me.  Hey, I’m gonna “wing” it, if I have to.  I am just grateful to be alive!

Thank you, God for train drivers, sisters and favourite soups!

Oh, What Am I Doing!

All my life I always wanted to be a writer.  Instead, I became an accountant and an MBA graduate.  My career has been good, despite migration and starting from scratch, as every immigrant story does, I’m rising up to my goals & aspirations and I can’t complain.

But time and again, I have this nudging to write about my life and my existence on this planet.  See, I always believe that each human being has a purpose in living this life on earth.  What that purpose is -  that’s the biggest challenge!

But this I do know, that at least, my story to tell will need to be told.  As imperfect as my life is and has been, I am sure, another soul will find solace in knowing that it is perfectly alright to live an imperfect life after all.

So here I am, starting to learn how to create a blog.  And I have found something that says:  how to create a blog for dummies…  Perfect!

Hence, my journey as a story-teller.  What story should I tell?  Nothing else but my own story.  Not about my accomplishments nor my failures, but rather of being alive on this planet and living my life – my own story.  Hopefully, I can relate on my being here, rather than talk about what I have been doing. 

As one of my favourite authors has said:

If you think your life is about DOINGNESS, you do not understand what you are about.  Your soul doesn't care what you do for a living - and when your life is over, neither will you.  Your soul cares only about what you're BEING while you're doing whatever you're doing.  It is a state of BEINGNESS the soul is after, not a state of doingness." - Neale Donald Walsch